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Articles [ back to articles ]
Guiding Your Children Through
Life
by: Laura Silva Quesada
Growing up in a family of 10 children gave me a good understanding of how
joyful and challenging raising children can be. As would be expected, there
were no two children alike in our family. We were all so different, looked so
different, and had different talents, temperaments and interests. Although we
are all grown up now, to this day I still wonder how my parents did it.
My Mother, Paula, was the mother of all mothers. She welcomed all into her home
with arms wide opened and many, outside her children, called her mom. She was
wise and beautiful. She could do and did do everything and anything. She was
amazing, and on top of it all, she was also the woman behind a great man.
Some are kissing mothers and some are scolding mothers, but it is love just
the same.
Pearl Buck (1892 1973), quoted in O Magazine, May 2003 |
My father, Jose, had an interesting philosophy about children. He once told me
the following:
"We parents are the only ones responsible for the continuation of the existence
of the human race on this planet. We serve as doorways through which humans
enter this planet. We need to be, for the newcomers, fundamental teachers,
models and guides. We call newcomers our sons and daughters."
"Sons and daughters are not ours as possessions. They don't belong to us. They
are only placed in our charge. We have been selected to play the role of
consultants and guides for our children. It is our obligation as parents to
guide our children in a positive direction."
It is a wise father that knows his own child.
William Shakespeare |
Guiding our children in a positive direction is done consciously, purposefully,
and lovingly. It is done with the clear outcome of your child growing up to be
a resourceful, productive, happy and healthy human being.
As a parent, it is important to be the parent you would be proud to have
yourself. Your children will imitate you in every way. They will imitate your
style of thinking; will likely take on your beliefs, and many of your behaviors
as well. You must think, believe and behave in a way that will lead to positive
outcomes for yourself since this will also help insure the same outcomes for
your little imitator.
In addition all the obvious duties and responsibilities a parent accepts to do
daily when it comes to caring for and raising their child, the following are
some not so obvious ones:
* Teach your children early on to take responsibility for their outcomes. When
obviously "good or bad" things happen to your child or you, take a few moments
to backtrack so that your child can realize what thoughts, beliefs and/or
behaviors had to be in place so that the happening could happen.
* Speak positively, realistically and progressively and restate your and your
child's statements into a positive whenever they are stated in the negative. Do
this every time until positive thinking becomes a habit.
* Teach your child to meditate by spending loving, quiet time together as a
family. Go to a comfortable place, such as your bed, guide your child to close
their eyes, take a deep breath and relax their body. During this quiet time you
can enjoy hugging, talking, going on mental trips around the world, and/or
remembering past joyful experiences in detail and color. You can even imagine a
special goal manifesting. Using imagery in this manner will help your child
develop their visualization, imagination, and creativity. These are all
faculties of those who are known to be genius in nature, and are ingredients
for successful problem solving.
* Teach your child how to locate and use their Mental Movie Screen, which is
used for projecting all their mental movies and mental pictures. It is located
out and away from the body and past the eyelids.
* Instruct your child in how to move from problem to solution by first
discussing with them why the problem exits, and then by discussing the many
solutions that can potentially take the place of the problem. Then have your
child close their eyes and visualize the problem on their Mental Movie Screen,
with an understanding of why it exist, and then after a few moments, have your
child imagine the desired outcome instead. Have your child step into the
outcome image and experience it fully and completely.
* Explain to your child how he/she can create a life of his/her own design by
setting goals. Get into a family practice of writing down and revising goals at
least 3 to 4 times a year. Keep a log of successes and acknowledge all
successes. Start with simple goals and then move forward from there as needed.
Help each other in manifesting goals. Hold onto the belief that the goals you
set will manifest or BETTER than that will manifest.
* Make your child aware of their inner voice and feelings. Help you child to
learn how to listen to, and trust their inner voice and gut feelings. In order
to help explain this very natural human ability, rely on past experiences where
intuition, gut feelings, and hunches helped in solving a problem or improving
an outcome.
These suggestions, although a bit unconventional, can make a wonderful
difference in your life, your life as a parent, and especially, your child's
life. The best you can do is to do your best. Allow your love and intuition to
guide you and always hold an image in your mind of your child going through
life having it all; being positive, resourceful, happy, and healthy.
Children and Stress | article
As with most adults, any major change in a child's life can be a cause of
stress. Yet, the child has little or no resources to handle the stress they are
experiencing. Events like the birth of a sibling or the parent's divorcing can
cause tremendous stress.
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